Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
