so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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