it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize