I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
