It's like God shit irony all over that family
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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