I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
