can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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