Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
