Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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