We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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