and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
