did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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