Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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