come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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