She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
