I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
