I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
