I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
