thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
