pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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