you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I love having hate sex.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
