Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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