if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
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