So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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