Umm I'm too high to move.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
