I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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