She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
