he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
