Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
