fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
