Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
