Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
