it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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