NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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