I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize