so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
