She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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