It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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