She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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