TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
