He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's shark week go big or go home
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
