tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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