She is in my trunk
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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