Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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