so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
