Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
