He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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