So drunk, too bad you don't want this
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize