Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
