she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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