We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
