I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
