In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
