Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
