i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize