i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
