I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
