party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
