I'm really into asian looking animals
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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