at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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