Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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