he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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